♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): Total chaos gremlin. You’re the jump-scare energy of every friend group. You’re running on caffeine, adrenaline, and the need to be right.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): You’re the witch who casts spells for better lighting and stronger Wi-Fi. You manifest abundance — but only if it includes snacks and naps.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): You’re the vampire — charming, unpredictable, and definitely staying up all night. You drain energy, not blood, and you always come back looking flawless.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): You’re the ghost who won’t move on until everyone feels bad for you. You haunt with emotion and a touch of guilt — it’s your brand.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): You’re the vampire leader — beautiful, dramatic, and thriving under moonlight selfies. You’d bite someone just for the story.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): You’re the witch who alphabetizes potions and has a 12-step curse-cleansing routine. You don’t hex people, you just quietly fix their bad energy.
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): You’re the vampire influencer — your hauntings are aesthetically pleasing and probably sponsored. You’ll bite, but only if it’s Instagrammable.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): You’re the witch with secrets. Dark, magnetic, and a little too good at manifesting revenge. You don’t stir the cauldron — you are the cauldron.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): You’re the chaos gremlin who thinks “haunting” means starting drama in different zip codes. You’re wild, unbothered, and probably drunk texting a demon.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): You’re the vampire CEO — you own the castle, the minions, and the brand deal. You don’t suck blood, you suck profits — respectfully.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): You’re the ghost hacker haunting technology. You flicker lights, glitch phones, and send cryptic Spotify messages. It’s performance art.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): You’re the ethereal witch — emotional, dreamy, and slightly delusional. You don’t haunt; you vibe on a higher spiritual Wi-Fi.